NO “TELEPHONES”. TALK TO EACH OTHER. FACE TO FACE ONLY. WRITE A LETTER. SEND A TELEGRAM TO YOUR MOM. PRETEND IT’S 1860. LIVE.
NO ‘WRITING’… TALK TO EACH OTHER. THROW A ROCK AT YOUR MOM. PRETEND IT’S 10,000 BCE. LIVE.
NO ‘HIGHER BRAIN FUNCTIONS’ …USE YOUR REPTILIAN BRAIN
EAT YOUR MOM’S CORPSE SHE DIED TO PROVIDE YOU WITH SUSTENANCE
PRETEND YOU HAVE JUST AROSE FROM THE SEA
NO “MULTICELLULAR TRAITS”….. USE YOUR SYMBIOTIC MITOCHONDRIA
REPRODUCE ASEXUALLY, YOU’RE YOUR OWN PARENT
PRETEND IT’S 2BYA
NO “LIFE.” USE FUNDAMENTAL PHYSICAL FORCES TO FORM SPHERICAL OBJECTS REVOLVING AROUND ONE ANOTHER IN SPACE.
FUSE HYDROGEN INTO HELIUM USING GRAVITATIONAL PRESSURE TO PRODUCE HEAT AND LIGHT.
PRETEND IT’S 4.5BYA.
STABILIZE INTO EQUILIBRIA
NO “MATTER”. EXIST IN THE VOID WITHOUT PURPOSE OR MEANING.
THERE IS NO “YOU”, ONLY THE VAST CONCEPT OF NOTHING.
TIME DOES NOT EXIST.
“It would be unfair of us not saying thank you once you did it as well. Thank you so much for this past month in Brazil. From Santa Cruz Cabrália to Rio de Janeiro. Thank you for your professionalism, humility and for your modesty. Thank you for Podolski’s charisma, the most Brazilian German in the world. Thank you for the 7:1 because it was a lesson to our own arrogance. Arrogance you didn’t show back in 2002. You accepted your defeat and worked hard to be on top again. It wasn’t luck. At all. Our people did the best they could to welcome you in the best way possible and I believe we made it. We just didn’t expect you to be this terrific to us. The picture above is the one I believe to be the most symbolic of your stay here: Podolski hugging a local child, from the Civic School of Cabrália, who they’ll continue to be assisting until 2018. Another “golaço” they have scored around here. That child’s hug represents the hug that 200 million Brazilians would like to give every single one of you right now. Once again, it would be unfair of us letting you go without saying thank you. Obrigado! Or even better, Dankeschön!”– Brazilian sports page thank the Germans. [x]